How To Avoid Jealousy When A Brother Is Born – Being Parents

As soon as a little brother arrives in the family, jealousy can be the natural reaction to the threat of losing the love of his parents.

However, as they compete for their parents’ love, children can learn a lot. How to guide them in this learning in order to avoid jealousy when a brother arrives?

What to do when you are expecting another child?

The arrival of another child brings about many changes in the family. It is possible that your children have the wrong expectations about their future brother or sister. However, preparing them as soon as possible can help them avoid jealousy.

First, you need to let them know that you are pregnant before other people know it. Then  you need to explain to them in advance that babies need a lot of attention.

Indeed, they cannot fend for themselves. For this, you can use photos or videos of them babies. This will make it easier for them to understand.

Also, get them to participate in the preparation for the baby’s arrival home. You can show them the ultrasounds or allow them to put their hand on your tummy and talk to the baby.

Symptoms of jealousy in connection with the arrival of the baby

While not all children show their jealousy in the same way, here are some symptoms that may appear.

• • Anger, anguish, insecurity, sadness. Such emotions can be somatized by headaches, insomnia or dizziness.
  • Total refusal  of the brother or sister.
  • Regression stage. They thus try to imitate the younger brother. In this case, they resume behaviors they had abandoned, such as sucking his thumb.
  • They try to get attention at all costs,  often belittling the baby for it.
  • Aggressive behaviour.  They can come to a verbal or physical confrontation.

How to avoid jealousy at the arrival of a brother or sister?

Of course,  there is no magic formula  to avoid jealousy. However, with the right tools, you can help children channel themselves properly. Here are some practical tips.

Set aside time

Make the effort to be with them alone to share a quality moment. This factor is very important so that they do not feel “out of place” because of the baby’s arrival.

Let them help

Get them to help you take care of their new brother. Depending on the age, one can assign tasks to the older brother. This will make him feel that he is an important part of the family. Of course, if he does not want to do so, we recommend not to force him.

Teach them empathy

Teach them the importance of empathy. They need to learn to understand the feelings of others. So show them the advantages of being the older brother or the younger.

Equal treatment

Try to treat each child equally. Of course, love must be shared properly. However, you will often need to give special treatment. Where appropriate, treatment will depend on the individual’s age and personality.

Ask for the collaboration of other adults

Remind family and friends that they should not leave the older brother aside. On the contrary, your efforts could be slowed down or even nullified by another person close to the child.

Teach them to share

Help them develop their individuality and respect each other. As they grow older, children need to know how to share space with their siblings.

6 things not to do

If you want to avoid jealousy  and foster good family relationships, here are the don’ts.

Change the routine

Don’t change the routine your children had before your next baby was born. Too many changes at the same time can be difficult to assimilate. Make sure that – as much as possible, this new birth does not coincide with a move or a change of school.

Thinking he doesn’t like her

Do not think that jealousy is a demonstration of lack of love for the baby. In most cases, children end up being loved over time and mature.

Make comparisons

Don’t compare your kids. Some of your comments may seem like an observation. However, depending on what form you use to express yourself, they can have an impact on your children.

Don’t pay attention to your comments

Likewise, avoid sentences that reproach or even misinterpret their actions. For example, ordering “Get away from the baby” or “Do not touch him” could result in the baby refusing the baby.

Do not fix it

Correct his bad behavior, don’t limit yourself to allowing him to do what he wants. Some children may seek to gain attention by belittling, ridiculing, and threatening the younger sibling. Do not blame him for his feelings, nor applaud them when they are not wise.

Finally,  avoiding jealousy  during the birth of a brother or sister is something practically impossible. Nonetheless, with patience and love, you can help them deal with these emotions.

In this way, your children will learn to live together, to accept their responsibilities and to respect others.