What To Do When Motherhood Causes You To Have An Identity Crisis – Being Parents

If you look back, it seems inevitable to have an identity crisis after having a child. If you speak with other mothers, you will find that almost all of them have been there before.

Whether it happens a few days, a few months or even a few years after the birth of the child, there is no doubt that  motherhood causes a significant change in identity and sometimes triggers a crisis.

Before the baby and the identity crisis

It is possible that before you had your baby, you were convinced that you would return to work after your maternity leave and resume your career. Then you realize that a full-time job might not be the best option when your belly is growing…  And you don’t quite know how things are going to turn out anymore.

You will get up in the morning thinking about how much time you will need to prepare for when you need to take care of the baby. These are doubts which, even if they seem trivial, are real. When you have your baby and realize that you have run out of time, you may start an identity crisis that you never thought you were experiencing.

New moms are constantly talking about priority changes, which are good and completely predictable. However, these changes can cause different areas of your life to become unbalanced.

You will spend having time with your family and friends to find balance with your children, your spouse’s time, work and the family budget.

Identity crisis

It is possible that all of this will give you an identity crisis because you have become a mother and your life has changed completely. You have to keep one thing in mind: you can develop a stronger, more centered version of your better “me”. Follow these tips when you think everything is falling apart around you  and you will realize it.

Embrace change in the face of the identity crisis

First and foremost, don’t fight change. What if, from a woman with a career, you become a woman who stays at home? Nothing. You decide what you want to do and how you want to do it. Accepting that life is constantly changing is fundamental to moving towards your new “me”.

What once seemed like a good idea may not be what’s best for you and your family now. And that doesn’t matter. See this change as a fantastic opportunity. You need to take a step back and think about who you want to be in this next phase of your life.

Be determined but not stubborn

It is easy to feel stuck on your life’s path. You had a concrete idea of ​​what you wanted in your life, but now this path has taken you in a completely different direction. If there’s one thing a baby teaches us, it’s that flexibility makes it easier. It’s time to be open to all these new possibilities.

Do one thing at a time

Don’t drown yourself trying to find your new “me” all at once. Many areas of life are affected when a baby comes into play: internal and external trust, relationships with spouse, family and friends, professional goals, and your personal style.

Trying to tackle everything all at once will be frustrating and ineffective. Focus on one thing at a time. First tackle the area that seems to take up most of your mental space.

If you’re constantly thinking about getting back in shape, create a nutrition and workout plan to help you achieve the goal you want. Once you feel better and do all you can in this area, you can move on to another point.

Accept your new “me” in the identity crisis

Don’t think of going through an identity crisis like rediscovering your old “me”. The latter disappeared as soon as you picked up your baby for the first time. From now on, you have a new “ME”, in all capitals, yes, because it is very important to keep it. You must give yourself time to resolve the issues that are bothering you.

Do you have friends who no longer have a place in your new life? Or do you need to learn a new tool to communicate with your spouse? Don’t waste your energy crying because of these changes. Use it to spruce up your journey forward. It is your path and you must trace it energetically.

We all have an identity crisis

It’s very easy to get carried away by the Instagram and Pinterest lifestyle. People on social media seem to have perfect lives, don’t they? In truth, it isn’t:  they only show what they think is best in their life.

This perfect-looking mother who seems to have it all has struggled with her identity as well, as the next mother. When a change as big as having a baby occurs, no one is protected from personal turmoil.

It all boils down to knowing how to manage these changes with introspection, dedication and grace. And you can do it, there is no doubt about it.