How Do I Know If My Child Needs To Be Listened To? – Being Parents

Often times, it is difficult to know when your child needs to be listened to. Of course, we are the parents and we know our child better than anyone most of the time, but we have to keep in mind that we are also human beings. As a result, it may often be more difficult for us to detect some barely perceptible signals.

It is normal that certain signs escape us in our life, and especially when they come from those around us. It does not mean that we lack interest in them or that we are not attentive enough to perceive certain things, just that it is not possible to control everything.

Children’s signals

From the first years of the child’s life, they feel a great curiosity for the world around them. It is for this reason that they ask a lot of questions in order to understand and make sense of reality. As parents, we are here to guide his learning process.

When a child cannot satisfy his need for communication and spontaneous questioning, or feels that he is not getting the attention he wants, he can withdraw into himself. This can affect its development from several points of view, among which we can distinguish:

1. If he stops asking questions, he may feel apathetic and no longer have confidence in himself or those around him, which can cause great insecurity.
2. If he decides to seek the answers to his questions elsewhere, he may resort to the wrong people or places. Thus, they will be much more exposed to the various dangers of society.

Irritability and frustration are the most obvious signs that a child is not happy with something. Whereas, withdrawal is a much bigger challenge, as it presents itself under a greater escalation of crises.

In many cases, the changes in his behavior are barely noticeable compared to what to watch out for. But above all, you have to know how to approach nicely to encourage him to express himself.

Why does a child need to be listened to?

Listening to a child is more than hearing him. It involves establishing a deep and lasting communication with the child, making him trust him and strengthening the bond between the two. It is a question of going further than the person who speaks and the one who knows how to listen, to appreciate the tone of the voice, in short, to go further than what is said.

It is important not to limit children’s listening time so that they can enjoy a healthy and happy psycho-emotional development. This will be reflected in various aspects of his life, including his self-esteem. In addition, good listening creates a rapprochement and strengthens the union of the family.

The 3 essential criteria

1. Security

Your child needs to know what you want and what you understand. Therefore, when he shares a concern with you, you should be willing to take the time necessary to listen to it. This will help him to have confidence in you but also to build healthy bonds with other people.

2. Affection

A child not only needs to be listened to, but also needs to feel loved and wanted. Thus, parents must show him that they love him. You have to dedicate time to this, show your love for it through various gestures and by listening to it.

3. Attention

Watching your kids doesn’t mean our to-do list gets longer. Indeed, it is always possible to take time to pay attention to what is really important in human interactions and in particular in the parent-child relationship.

It is important to pay attention to a child when they are talking to you. Although his problems seem “small” to us, we must give a certain value to what he expresses in order to support him and guide him adequately. After he’s finished speaking, you can ask him a few questions to show him that what he’s saying is important and that you want to help him.

recommendations

When a child needs to be listened to, we must act with kindness and not force things to prevent them from becoming afraid and putting us aside. Thus, we make some recommendations to you so that you know how to act:

• Approach the child and put yourself on his level.
• Pay attention to what the child is telling you.
• Look him in the eye.
• Don’t interrupt while he’s talking and don’t jump to conclusions.
• Ask yourself if you are really listening to it.
• Put yourself in his shoes.
• Don’t just pay attention to your child’s words, but also to their gestures, expressions and silences.
• Pay attention to your body language : don’t cross your arms or legs, try to keep a relaxed posture, nod with your head, and express your affection at the appropriate times: with a pat on the back or a hug.

Films on this theme

• I kill giants (2017)
• A monster calls  (2016)
• Extremely loud and incredibly close (2011)

What if he doesn’t want to talk?

Maybe at first he won’t want to talk about what’s happening to him. And even less if it is a problem. In these circumstances, one must be patient and although he does not wish to speak, one must always remain attentive. If when you ask him directly something happens, don’t say anything, just keep him company and reassure him. Tell him that when he is ready, you will be there to listen and help him.

Often the company brings a very beneficial first comfort to overcome the difficulties. Therefore, when your child needs to be listened to, the first thing you need to do is tell them that you are there for them both physically and mentally.