Happiness Is A Responsible Act – Being Parents

According to Buddha, happiness is the cessation of suffering. So in practical terms, according to Buddhism, happiness is experienced when you stop suffering. It seems that simple.

From a point of view of modern psychology, happiness is a responsible act. In other words, the happiness of an adult does not depend on anyone but on himself. It is not about an emotional state that can be offered by another person or an object, because what we call happiness is always within us.

Our happiness depends on each of us, the decisions we make, our actions, our ability to know ourselves, to forgive ourselves and to know that we are safe. Nobody is perfect. All human beings, regardless of their age, are a project under construction with endless possibilities to improve each day and therefore be happy.

What is it to be happy? This response can vary greatly from person to person. However, psychologist María Elena Guzmán clarifies that being happy does not mean not having problems, but knowing how to deal with them.

Your happiness depends only on you

Even though many parents find it hard to believe, their happiness depends only on themselves, on the construction they can make as adults of the love, security and protection that they have. ‘they have received in their life. As well as the emotional maturity they have cultivated. This is all the difference with children whose happiness depends on the care provided by their parents.

Unfortunately, as psychotherapist and maternity expert Laura Gutman points out, when we have received little care in infancy, it is common for adults as adults to place the supposed responsibility for our own well-being or our own health. happiness over others.

The expert emphasizes that this is a very common mistake in our relationships. This is usually brought out when we pretend that our family, friends or partner feed our emotions or rather make us happy. While in reality, we need to positively feed our emotions – or at least keep toxic people at bay -. It is our absolute responsibility.

However, this confusion leads many adults to a state of emotional weakness. This is because when they are convinced that their happiness depends on the care they receive from others, they stagnate as people and stop feeding and improving.

Happiness and its excesses

On the other hand, this way of thinking leads us to build relationships tend to be dependent. So we are lost when the other person, usually our partner, turns their attention to something else. Sometimes we even panic. In some cases, we start to get that person’s attention by manipulating them, lying to them, or distorting realities.

It is true that on many occasions we do it without bad intentions and even without realizing it. However, it is precisely these acts that explain our weak emotional maturity. Since we are dragging other people into our little emotional chaos.

These types of choices or behaviors are common among people who belong to the fear of being abandoned, who constantly feel that their relationships are in danger. But know that this situation can change when we become aware of our hurts.

Taking responsibility for ourselves makes the difference

It is essential to be aware of our actions and each of our thoughts. It is the only way to free ourselves from the past and to take responsibility for our present. Realize that no matter how painful the past is, it is essential to understand that pleasure, conscious choices, and what you think is happiness can be achieved with your choices. With your will and your willingness to grow emotionally.

As a mother, it is essential to understand that happiness does not depend on anyone. Not even the person who is madly in love with you. It is reciprocal, because we cannot create happiness for others.

However, sharing the moments of our life, helping others overcome certain difficulties and supporting the lives of those we love is another story. It is part of what gives color to our existence. Taking charge of other people’s emotions or putting the weight of our happiness on another person is completely different.