How To Announce A Separation To Children? – Being Parents

In life and, in general, everything that begins ends, at one point or another. When it comes to a romantic relationship, we hope to never see an end, let alone if we have children. In that case, we would face an extremely difficult situation: telling them that separation is now inevitable.

In all relationships there is a percentage probability that tells us, due to various circumstances, that the end is inevitable. When you have started a family,  you always have to think, even if it is very hard, about what is best for everyone.

How to tell these little ones, who think that their parents are the most wonderful beings in the world, that they will no longer live together? How to make sure that this does not affect their existence in a drastic way?

When you have children,  it is necessary to prepare the ground well – for a few months –  and to have exhausted all the options to save the couple relationship. It is only then that we can explain to them that, for the good of the family, the best is the final separation.

This decision will obviously affect the little ones. It may even make them feel things that they are unlikely to be able to handle, such as guilt, frustration, and anger.

To lessen the impact of this news,  we must look for tools that make this moment less painful  for children.

How to explain separation to children?

The reason

It is important to explain the reason for our separation very tactfully. And, of course, it’s best to avoid giving details. We have to tell them that this is a mutually agreed decision, even if the reality is quite different.

Family reunion

To confirm that the breakup is inevitable, the best thing to do  is for both parents to announce this news together. By doing this, the children see that even though the love is no longer there, the parents are still dealing with situations as a family.

It is also not recommended to make children believe that the act of separation is not very important and that the pain produced by the collapse of the family nucleus will subside quickly. Parents should be sincere, speak clearly and calmly about the process,  and insist that they will always be there to support each other, even when the going gets tough.

Find the right words

It is better to avoid phrases like “we no longer love each other” or “there is no more love”. This could cause great emotional damage to the little one, who saw only tenderness in his parents and who has always been said to be the fruit of deep love.

It is therefore necessary to explain to the child  that it is very important, to show him that everything ended without conflict and to bring him a lot of love. It is not just a process in which the adult suffers because of the failure of their relationship: children also feel the loss of their family, which is the most precious thing in their life.

Engage them in the separation conversation

Sitting down with the children to talk about this decision is very important  for everyone. This allows them to find out what they feel and think about it. Children must be able to express their doubts and parents must be able to tell them that they will be there to support them during the separation process.

Commit to continuing to be the best parents

It is essential to keep the little ones informed of how they will be able to contact their parents and where they will be able to see them. You have to tell them that their relationship will never change.

Even if it seems difficult, we must take advantage of this moment to build trust between children and parents. Thus,  it is recommended to never promise something that cannot be respected  because it hurts children a lot. The little ones are not responsible for what happens between mom and dad.

Do not look for culprits in the separation

We must avoid pointing out the other as being the culprit of the failure of the couple relationship  because, in this case, the family would become divided. This is obviously a time when there is a lot of resentment, pain and the urge to yell at each other all that they have done wrong in the relationship because making children go through such an ordeal does not have to do with it. nothing simple.

If we separate, the well-being of our children must be a priority. However, even if it seems complicated to you, your best bet is not to accuse the other of being responsible for this destruction of the family. Children do not need to know who is responsible for the separation. If they did, bad behavior and rebellion due to resentment would become highly likely.

When we go our separate ways, keeping a cool head about the situation, no matter how much pain it may cause, will help ease the process. Showing emotional maturity in front of children will give them a solid foundation for their future relationships,  without creating traumas that can disrupt their psychological growth.

Finally, we must not forget that children do not divorce: it is the parents who no longer want to live together. Children should stay away from any situation related to separation.

They must in no case lose contact with their parents or relatives because of arbitrary decisions by one of the parties, without the slightest justification. Couples’ relationships end, but the love of families is endless.