Why Are Children Afraid Of Being Alone? – Being Parents

Every day,  millions of parents are confronted with the reality of their children who are afraid of being alone. Indeed, it is one of the most common phenomena in children, especially in the smallest.

Usually,  the fear of being alone begins at ages 2 and 5. If not properly channeled, it can have a direct impact on a child’s emotional health.

In some cases, it can also lead to fear of the dark or that children want to sleep with light. They may even be afraid of disguises or clowns. Ultimately,  the fear of being alone can manifest itself in so many ways in our children, and that is why we need to be mindful to recognize it and help them. 

The perception of time in children

One of the reasons that children are afraid of being alone is that they perceive the course of time  differently from adults. For example, when they are promised an outing, they keep asking if it’s time to go.

This is because they  don’t perceive the flow of time the same way we do. A few minutes can then seem like an eternity to them.

If they are the last to attend school or if we are several minutes late to pick them up, they will feel like they have been waiting for hours,  which can cause them to have a panic attack. Because of this, some of them may be  afraid to go to school.

The fear of being alone, a normal phenomenon

Almost every child in the world is afraid of being alone at some point in their childhood. In itself, this is not something to worry about. They may even be afraid of being alone when they have company.

For example, children may feel fear of being alone at school even if they are surrounded by many other children. In this case,  the fear is caused by a feeling of insecurity. 

They may also be scared when playing in their room, even if we are in another room. Also, when they are babies, the fear of being alone arises when someone other than their mom or dad picks them up.

Ways to help them overcome the fear of being alone

As parents, one of our jobs is to help our children overcome the inconveniences in their lives, and among them is the fear of being alone.

1. Never minimize their problems

No matter how insignificant or foolish they seem to us, we should never underestimate children’s fears and worries. The only thing that can happen is that they lose confidence in us.

2. Don’t teach them to be afraid

Some parents can make the mistake of terrorizing their children into doing something. They can say sentences like “If you don’t take your bath, I get angry…”. This attitude promotes fear and fear. Our children will be anxious and fearful, and it will be more difficult for them to deal with situations.

On the other hand, we could fall into the trap of overprotection. For example, if they have a problem at school, we will solve it ourselves. However,  we should rather let the children find solutions to their affairs on their own, so that they gain confidence and self-esteem.

3. Understand their fear of being alone

Instead of forcing them to face fear, we can ask them what is the reason and the cause of it. Trying to understand their fear of being alone can give us the tools to help them tackle this problem.

When we talk to them about this situation, we need to give them our full attention. In this way, they will see that their problems are of interest to us from an early age and in the future they will feel more comfortable telling us about the situations they are going through.

Remember,  the fear of being alone is quite normal in children. With your attention and help, your child will be able to overcome it successfully.