How Can We Help Our Children Who Are Failing At School? – Being Parents

All the work and time that children devote to their studies are summed up in their report cards. Unfortunately, what we find in this newsletter is not always what we expect from a responsible and dedicated student. We offer you some advice on how to act in the event of your children’s failure at school.

Parents often react in different ways when their child brings bad grades. Some imagine a bad future, as if a bad grade means your child will not achieve anything for the rest of their life.

Others feel guilty about this situation. They blame themselves for not having assisted more, for having poorly motivated their child or even for not having been more severe.

The reality is that none of these reactions are correct. Indeed, failure at school is never inevitable. Just because your son has a bad grade in school doesn’t make you a bad parent.

It is, in fact, an uncomfortable situation that requires understanding and effort from both sides. Your children may not like this situation either. So you must guide him to resume the path of good grades and serious work.

How can we help our children who are failing at school?

As we have already mentioned, we do not wish to downplay the importance of school failure. However, it is a sort of warning that you can build a lot on for the future. So if your child brings home bad grades. We invite you to follow these recommendations.

1 – keep calm

It is normal for you to feel anxious and upset. However, anger will get you nowhere. With yelling and punishments, you only hurt the child’s self-esteem. Also, the next time he has to take a test, the pressure and fear of failure will be much greater for him.

2 – Do not attribute the problem to your personality

A very serious mistake that many parents make is to use phrases like “You are a lazy person” or “You are not working hard enough”. Indeed, this is not the way to act.

It is necessary to promote another state of mind in the child. It is best to present the subjects or school in general as a challenge, a test which he must overcome for his own good.

Talking to your child in a negative way will not make things better and will only discourage them. The most serious school failures can be solved and the efforts are sustained over time. It is possible to go from resignation or rebellion to genuine learning disabilities.

3 – Find solutions

All actors must have a constructive and proactive attitude. This includes both the student and his parents but also the teachers. Once the problem is identified, a strategy can be devised that will reverse the poor outcome curve. As you can see, communication between the different actors is essential.

The cause of a bad grade can be very different depending on the case. It could be something circumstantial, such as lack of study time or poor planning. It can come from more serious problems, such as sleep disorders, social problems or family problems. We can also think of stress, mental exhaustion or cognitive impairment.

4 – do your self-criticism

This is usually particularly difficult for some parents. While worrying about studies is quite normal for every student, we may wonder how we work together for the success of their education.

First of all, what example do we give? Are we fulfilling our responsibilities or are we putting them off and trying to let go?

Second, is there ongoing communication that allows the child to voice any problem they may be having?

Last but not least, are we still forcing them to study without meeting their needs? This can cause trouble in them. In fact, the best students tend to have more permissive parents in this regard. Confidence is essential to promote the self-discipline of the young person.

5 – Work together!

Once you’ve instilled in your child an attitude that allows them to take responsibility for failure and are ready to get back on their feet, it’s time to work together. Ask him what he feels he misses, what happened to him, what can help him.

Maybe he needs a comrade to make his studies more bearable. Otherwise, he or she might need a tutor, who could very well be you or your partner.

Your child’s failure is not always due to lack of commitment or willpower. He may be doing his best and still finds it difficult to get good grades. This is when you need to reach out to him so that he can outdo himself. It will be a great lesson in life for him.

In conclusion, your child’s failure at school is not the end of the world. Stay by his side and help him face this moment with perseverance and courage to emerge victorious.