How To Avoid Jealousy In Siblings? – Being Parents
Although this stage is normal, parents should as much as possible avoid this feeling of jealousy in the siblings exceeds reasonable proportions.
If this jealousy overflows, it can lead the child to depression, anxiety or to develop low self-esteem. This could indeed be harmful to him and lead to consequences for his whole life.
In addition, when it no longer encounters a barrier, jealousy can succeed in generating progressive tensions which affect the whole family nucleus.
Jealousy in siblings: its causes
Fear is the first basis of jealousy. Also, the child is dominated by the anxiety of losing the love and tenderness of his parents. This feeling appears when the child feels that his emotions are no longer reciprocal or at least not as frequently or as intensely as he would like.
Another cause of the onset of jealousy is the change in the mother’s attitude before the new baby arrives. This change can be hard to tolerate for a child accustomed to their well-identified relationship with their parents. The child may interpret this change as the possibility of being replaced.
Sometimes parents also use persuasive techniques with their children that can be harmful. With sentences like “if you don’t finish your plate, Mom won’t play with you” the child can draw the wrong conclusions.
More precisely, he can understand that the Mom will only play with the child who will meet his expectations. That is to say with the one who finishes his plate.
Comparisons are also one of the main sources of jealousy and should be avoided at all times. Each child is unique and must be valued as such.
However, seniors are not the only subjects to feel this jealousy. Cadets may have this feeling about the elder just as well. If one child feels that the other is receiving preferential treatment, the risk of jealousy is very present.
The consequences of jealousy
Children who experience jealousy may exhibit harmful behaviors as a result. Indeed, these changes are the main motivation of parents to avoid jealousy among siblings:
- They sometimes adopt aggressive or irritable attitudes
- They can be sad or introverted
- When they are small, they can show regressive states at earlier stages of their evolutionary development, such as resuming to urinate in bed or use the bottle again.
- They are more capricious.
Generally speaking, these behaviors tend to get the attention they so desire.
How to avoid jealousy in siblings?
It is very important, at all times, to strengthen the self-esteem and self-esteem of children. Doubt in siblings should be reduced in such a way that all family members fit in and know that parents’ feelings are shared fairly and transparently.
When a newcomer is about to arrive in the family , parents must maintain strong and permanent contact with the elders. They must therefore explain the changes that are coming, share in the joy and positive aspects of the arrival of a brand new member of the family group.
At all times it is recommended to maintain the child’s routine until the arrival of the little brother or sister. Thus, the times of meals, bedtime and bathing must remain the same as before.
Siding with one child or another is also particularly harmful when sibling conflict breaks out. Parents should, as much as possible, stay out of the confrontation. Also, they must let, as far as possible, the brothers and sisters resolve their differences among themselves.
Parents’ understanding should be evenly distributed among siblings. Everyone has their reasons and their wrongs, and parents need to demonstrate their ability to hear both.
Each of them, taken separately, must know that their parents will understand their arguments and take their feelings into consideration. It is therefore undoubtedly the best formula to avoid jealousy within the siblings.
