Is It A Good Thing That Multiple Siblings Are In The Same School? – Being Parents

This is a common doubt that arises in families with multiple children; fraternal twins, twins or triplets. The question of whether it is good for multiple siblings to be in the same school arises naturally; here we will try to come to a conclusion about it.

These doubts appear when parents start to think about children’s education. Will it be a good thing to put the fraternal twins or twins in the same school? Or is it better to separate them?

The family formulates more diverse hypotheses. Parents are starting to think that if the children were in the same facility, they could help each other. And also support each other. The work would also be lighter for them, since their schedules and their school supplies would be the same; this would be a positive point.

But the idea will also emerge that the more comfortable or the more timid of the two or three will gain the upper hand over the other or the others. Surely the weakest will not consider taking up the challenges, because they will know that their brother (s) or their sister (s) will assist them; maybe the more active and enterprising child will undo the more reserved one.

It is likely that one of the children will feel inferior to the other (s) in the comparison which will be done in a natural (but not recommended) way. It would serve the natural development of his personality.

The subject can become of great concern and anxiety will intensify as the time to start school approaches. A round of consultations will then begin with other mothers, school boards or psychologists. But then, what should be done?

Is it a good thing that siblings are in the same school?

A lot of myths circulate on this subject. One of them assures that, in any case, the fact of separating the brothers and sisters allows them to better forge their identity. Presented as an indisputable and valid truth in all situations, it is a myth. It is false, even perverse.

All siblings have their own characteristics because each child is different from the others. And this is also true for fraternal twins and twins. However, we should not make decisions a priori, but manage the situation in accordance with the results of the children.

Some interesting considerations:

• Multiple siblings (fraternal twins, twins, triplets): they have a very special and unique relationship. They were united throughout the pregnancy, shared the maternal uterus and followed the same development from the very moment of fertilization. This has an influence on the links that are forged between them
• Usually, these children are similar, and not just physically. However, each of them has its own unique personality. Each child must develop his independence vis-à-vis his brother (s) / sister (s) and make his own choices freely
• At home and at school, special attention should be paid to this. Calling each child by name – rather than referring only to them by saying “fraternal twins”, “twins” or “triplets” – dressing them differently and respecting their tastes and styles is a good start.

• It is necessary for them to engage in different activities at different times in order to thus foment their identity. This is the starting point and the goal, it is the attitude that parents and teachers will adopt. If we consider education in this way, then the brothers and sisters who will be in the same school will not be affected in any way.

Extension of the link

Putting brothers and sisters in the same school at the start of their schooling is to allow their natural and special emotional bond to continue.

Separating multiple siblings in kindergarten will add stress to them. Moreover, this separation can constitute for them an additional detachment which is added to that of the house and the mother. Sometimes this can result in a lack of self-confidence.

It is necessary to act with great precaution and to observe attentively the adaptation and the results of each of the brothers and sisters. This is where teachers play a fundamental role.

On the other hand, children must also be treated as independent beings, and making sure that they consolidate their independence when they are in class is crucial. In the classroom, they should be two unique and independent people.

When multiple siblings spend long periods of time apart at a very young age, they develop high levels of anxiety. A greater number of problematic behaviors then appear.

The suggestion of psychologists and specialized educators, in this kind of case, is that the brothers and sisters begin their schooling process together. It is then necessary to evaluate each situation to know whether they should continue the educational path together or separately.

All multiple siblings and all families have different traits and histories; that is why each situation must be analyzed in isolation. There are positive experiences in both cases, both in extending the bond between multiple siblings and in their separation at school.